Til Death Do We Part
by Cait.B55
Summary: Gus and Hazel get back from Amsterdam, and its a whole different ending.


After our trip to Amsterdam Gus, seemed to be doing okay. But no matter how well he said he was doing, I didn't believe him. Not after he told me his about his PET scan. Every time I got a phone call I hesitated to answer because I was afraid of who it would be on the other end, especially if it was Gus calling. Just then my phone rang.

I was preparing myself for the worst. I answered.

"Hello?" I answered with hesitation.

"Hello Hazel Grace. What are you doing.. for the rest of your life?" Gus asked with a grin

"What?!" I was so confused. First it wasn't his sister like I had expected it to be, telling me he had passed. But he sounds good, really good. Second was he about to propose over the phone? What's happening right now?!

"If you don't know that's okay. Neither do I. How about the rest of the day? I know we just got back, but I miss you already."

"Haha. I'm not sure. I don't think I have anything to do?" I haven't seen dad in a while though.. But he won't care will he?

"Okay, good. I'll be over in 10 minutes."

"Uhmm okay. That should be okay."I said, but don't think it mattered because I'm pretty sure he hung up before I answered him.

I had no idea why Gus already missed me or why he needed to see me at that very moment. It had been 3 hours on the dot. But I wasn't going to complain, I missed him too and whatever he has planned l, he was really excited about. I looked in the mirror, I saw my overtired jet lagged eyes. And realized I didn't have enough time to take a shower. So this was as good as I was going to look. I could change, but he'll be here any minute. I walked down the stairs and into my mom's office. Mom was there putting our passports into a file folder.

"Hey, ca.." I started, but mom always has something more important to say.

"Oh Hi! Your father thought it would be fun to go out and get burgers tonight. What do you think? Are you too tired?" Mom interrupted. Shoot, I didn't think we were doing anything. Gus is dying though. They'll understand, we can get dinner another time. Right?

"Oh, I didn't know we were doing anything tonight" I had barely finished my sentence when.

*ding dong*

"I wonder who that is," Mom said surprised.

"It's Gus I'll get it."

"Gus? Did he forget something?"

"No, that's actually what I came to talk to you about."

"Hazel, Gus is in the living room. He said you guys had plans?" Dad mentioned

Dad didn't seem upset with this, just confused. Maybe a little disappointed.

"Well.. yeah. He just called me out of nowhere and was wondering if we could hang out. Would it be okay if we went out for a little bit? We can get burgers or whatever you guys want for lunch tomorrow. It's just Gus really wants to see me, and he has something special planned." I knew I was playing the guilt card, but he was dying. We both have cancer I should be able to use the cancer card every once in awhile.

"What?! You just spent a week with him and you can't manage to spend one meal with your father?" mom argued. She was beyond mad, I knew I wasn't going to win this one. So I gave up.

"You're right. He can just go home and we can get dinner and I can hang out with him tomorrow."

"Hazel you don't have to do that. Just go out and have fun." Dad said, but didn't mean.

"No dad I will go tell Gus to leave. It's fine." I half meant it. I would see him tomorrow, I didn't know that for sure. But the chances of me seeing him are pretty high. Walking into the living room Gus looked as if he'd been sitting there forever.

"Hey, I know I said I could hang out. But I haven't seen my dad in forever, and he really wanted to go to dinner with just us."

I had not realized mom and dad followed me into the living room, until:

"You're more then welcome to come if you'd like Gus." Dad offered.

"Thank you Sir, but I guess I should go spend time with my parents and Isaac too. Thank you very much for the offer."

"Next time then."

There might not be a next time dad. It took so much out of me to not say that. Everyone always says that, next time. But there is not always a next time.

"Yes, next time."

Gus walked over gave me a kiss on the cheek, and said his farewells to my parents.

We got back from dinner around 10 O'clock and I was really tired.

"I think I'm going to head to bed. Aren't you tired Hazel?" Mom questioned.

"Yeah. But I want to shower, so I'll go to bed after I shower." I said.

"Okay, Goodnight sweetie. I Love you!"

"Goodnight Mom. I love you too! Goodnight Dad. Love you!"

"Goodnight Hazel, I'm happy you are home. I really missed you!"

"I missed you too Dad." Then I gave him a hug and went up to shower. I got in the shower and took my time. I miss Amsterdam, but am happy to be in my own shower, and I get to sleep in my own bed. I had so many great ideas and thoughts in the shower, I just had to stand there for a bit. I finally got out of the shower put my towel on and walked to my room. I felt like I was in the shower forever over 2 hours, so I glance at my phone to see how long I was actually in there for.

4 Missed calls from Gus and I have 25 text messages. Instantly my heart sank, I called him back right away.

"Hazel Grace, where have you been?" Gus said with a smug grin.

"Oh my God. You're okay. I'm sorry, I was in the shower."

"No, Hazel Grace I'm not okay. I'm great."

"Why's that?"

"Well I was hoping you would sleep under the stars with me"

"What?"

"Since you rudley stood me up this afternoon I thought it would be fun to drink some stars and sleep under them, it's a beautiful night out."

"Haha, I don't know."

"Come one Hazel Grace, live a little. Plus I'm already in your driveway.. So it would be a little awkward if you said no."

"Oh Gus, so spontanious all the time. Yeah, just give me a few minutes for me to change."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

I threw some clothes on and got my oxygen tank and went downstairs. We got into his truck and I forgot how bad he was at driving. He almost ran over a trash can, and hit a curb. He'd never hit moving things like a squirrel or person, but if it's not moving look out because Gus will most likely hit it.

"So where are we going?" I asked

"You'll see."

We sat there talking about our favorite parts of Amsterdam, and the trip. When we pulled up, but it was pitch black with his headlights you could see that there was nothing but fields as far as the eye could see. Gus got out and came around to open the door for me. I got my oxygen tank and held his hand as I got out. But the stars, there are millions of them. It was the most beautiful thing I've seen. We went around to the back of the truck where Gus reached in the bed and pulled out stairs.

"Oh, look who's Mr. Prepared."

"Anything for my girl."

We got into the bed of his truck when I felt really soft. Almost as soft my bed.

"Is this a mattress?"

"Yes, yes it is. It is quite comfortable right?"

I woke up that next morning in the same place I had fallen asleep, under the stars with Gus. I rolled over expecting to see Gus sound asleep, but he wasn't there.

"Gus?" I barely mumbled, I sat up. Maybe this is where he is going to propose. I looked over the side of the truck and didn't see him, so I looked on the other side.

"Shit." Gus was laying there face down in his throwup. "Gus?" I reached for my phone and called 9-1-1 while I was putting my cannula and trying to get down to help him. By the time I got down, the ambulance was there and taking him away. I got in to go with him.

We got to the hospital and they took him away. I don't know where he is going or if he is going to be okay. That was the last thing I remembered, the next thing I remember I woke up and wanted to tell Gus all about the horrible crazy dream I had about him dying. I ran inside to get my phone, but then my heart sank and tears filled my eyes. He's still gone. He is gone, and he is not coming back ever. I fell to the floor, the pain I was experiencing was unbearable.

"Hazel honey, your lungs can't handle this." mom showed up trying to calm me down "Breathe with me. In, and out."

I just layed there on the ground curled up. I didn't want to breathe. I wanted Gus to breathe. I didn't want to breathe without Gus. I can't calm down it feels like my heart is ripped out of my chest and like every bone in my body is breaking at the same time but I have to live through it. No, I don't. I don't have to live through it, not anymore. I stopped to think. I know what I'm going to do. I calmed myself down.

"I'm okay, I'm sorry."

"Sweetheart, you don't need to apologize. It's alright."

"I'm going to go lay in bed. Alright?"

"Of course. Just let me know if you need anything."

I went up to my room dragging my oxygen take up with me, like I will have to do for the rest of my life. I was laying in my bed, when I decided I knew what I was going to do.

"Hey Mom" I yelled as I went back down the stairs.

"Yeah, sweetie? Are you alright."

"Jesus Mom! Yes, I'm okay. Can I take the car to.. to Issacs? I need to give him something of.. his." I felt bad lying, no, I don't feel bad about lying, I feel bad for using him as my excuse. But I'll see him soon.

"I'll take you, just let me get my jacket." mom insisted

"No, mom. I need to do this…. alone." I had to. I knew she would be okay. She would counsel families going through all of this. I am not going to regret this decision. I have made up my mind and I am going through with it. I am going to kill myself.

"Well, alright. I guess that's okay. Be back soon though. Alright?"

"Thank you. I love you, and I'll be back." But I knew I wouldn't be.

I drove to that same park, the one Gus was going to propose to me at. I wouldn't tell anyone, but I found the ring. It was under his body, after the paramedics got him on the stretcher I looked down saw it and picked it up. I put it on a chain and kept it around my neck. I took out my cannula for the last time ever. I got out of my car for the last time ever. I didn't say my goodbyes. I didn't want to. I didn't even leave a note. I guess I don't think this is a choice I'm making, it's just what is happening, I am going to die. I am not happy here. Here I don't have Gus, I just want to be in the same place as him. So I got out of my car, and began my walk up the hill. Towards the stars. "It's getting harder and harder to breathe. I can't breathe, I've stopped breathing. All I wanted out of this life was"


End file.
